are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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