Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
