I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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