That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
