hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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