You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Randomize
