it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
