so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
