Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
