Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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