all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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