she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
