You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just want to make out with him forever
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
