I saw his package. It spoke to me.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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