So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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