just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
