the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
