Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
