whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
