He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
