Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
