you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
