i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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