everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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