first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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