i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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