I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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