and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
