She said her name was "party"
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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