I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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