I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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