Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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