You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
