shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
