we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My vagina is very pro this idea
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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