I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
