After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
