You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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