thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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