the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
