She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
