Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
