Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
