Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I faked an abortion last night.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
