we made out on top of his cat.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
