Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Michael Bay diarrhea
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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