1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
