come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Barsexuality is the new black.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
