omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Drunk is a universal language darling
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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