Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
